When most of us hear the phrase "blended family," we think "blended" as in "one homogenous entity."
We forget that to blend something, first you’ve gotta chuck it all in a blender. Toss in a bunch of stuff you hope kinda goes together, slap the lid on, and mash that frappé button down 'til you can pour out something edible. (You hope.)
Except blending a family takes years, even under the best of circumstances. And in a high-conflict stepfamily, those blades feel sharper. Cut deeper.
But you know, the love feels sharper, too. Deeper. And — speaking from personal experience — the peace you’ll eventually achieve will feel more meaningful.
The length of time you’re stuck in blender mode depends on a bunch of different factors. For me & my husband Dan, getting ourselves outta the blender came down to 4 main things:
I had to redefine my role as a stepparent (and really, redefine my entire idea of what “blended” even meant)
Dan had to take an active role in blending our family also — it wasn’t all on me as a stepparent to figure out
Together, we needed to get on the same page about how to move forward as a family
Together, we needed to learn effective strategies to combat the larger issues we were facing, like conflict between houses and scary court battles
Along the way, we learned a hell of a lot. We’d love to share our hard-won pro tips to help shorten your own learning curve. Because HOLY COW has this been one doozy of a ride. 😱🎢 (You can get to know us better right here.)
So! Ready to get your situation sorted?
HOW WE HELP
FREE SUBSCRIBERS get access to all our public posts as they’re published — check out our Starter Pack to see what we’ve put out so far. (I recommend starting with our Stepparenting Survival Guide.)
PAID SUBSCRIBERS get:
A subscriber-only chatroom where you can ask questions and connect with other stepparents (which is SO FRIGGIN VALIDATING)
A private Q&A podcast with me & Dan — ask us anything you like!
Access to ALL our ebooks, guides, and workshops, including our private podcast archives
Basically we’ve done all the groundwork so you can dive right down a nice deep rabbit hole quickly and easily, hopefully to emerge on the other side armed with the tools you need to blend your family more effectively… all the while keeping your own oxygen mask firmly planted on your face.
Getting you OUT of the blender: that is our goal. 🙌🏼
STUFF WE TALK ABOUT
💕 BECOMING BLENDED
Like any house, the foundation of your blended family is essential to its long-term stability. This is where you’ll find resources on how to stepparent, fitting in with your stepfamily, connecting with your stepkids, stepcouplehood & getting your partner on board, and how to actually blend.
➡️ BUILD YOUR FOUNDATION! >>
🔥 HELP FOR HIGH CONFLICT
Blending a family is already complicated, but add a difficult ex or disordered stepkid into the mix and you’re gonna need a bigger boat. Here’s where you’ll find tips for co-parenting/parallel parenting, creating effective boundaries, combatting parental alienation, and supporting troubled stepkids.
➡️ TACKLE THE TOUGH SHIT! >>
💝 BURNOUT RECOVERY
Stepparents tend to give this role our all — sometimes to our own detriment. If you need judgement-free support for stepping back a bit (commonly called “disengaging”), putting your own mental health first, and staying grounded amid the chaos, we’ve got you covered.
➡️ CATCH YOUR BREATH! >>
OH AND ONE MORE THING…
If you’re new to our world, you might not know we have an entire website already that’s jam-packed with tons of info. Our new content lives here on Substack though, so you should definitely stick around.
Finally, I probably should’ve led with this but: if becoming a stepparent has you feeling all.of.the.things, then welcome. Please know that you’re not alone.
🧡🧡
— Maarit.
To learn more about the tech platform that powers this publication, visit Substack.com.
