It's normal to feel bummed that you'll never share all those important "firsts" with your partner because they already shared them with someone else. It's normal to feel angry that you'll never enjoy an uncomplicated relationship with the love of your life.
So go ahead and feel jealous sometimes. Feel angry, feel hurt, feel sad. Just don't let those emotions eat you alive. If you notice your thinking turns obsessive or toxic, make a committed effort to change the TV channel in your head to something else. (ANYthing else!)
Most of all, focus on your future together. Your partner may have had those "firsts" but do you think they're happy they had to be shared with someone who's now an ex? Of course not! Your partner is looking for their own fresh start, or you wouldn't be in the picture. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The future you'll share together adds up to way more than a chapter in your partner's past that's already over. xo
PS - If you’d love a guide for how to juggle the insane emotions that seem to go hand-in-hand with stepparenting (seriously, does anyone else feel like they’re back in middle school or something??) please go check this out:
17 Coping Tips for Managing Overwhelming Stepparenting Emotions
I used to think I was the only stepparent who struggled in this role. Which also made me feel like the worst human ever. But after many years of talking to thousands of stepparents, turns out it's super normal for stepparenting to be way harder than you expected! This list of coping tips for emotional overwhelm includes many of the practices I used myself to get my head above water again. xo
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