There’s a great quote from Lucille Ball that goes “Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.” That for sure has been my personal experience with stepparenting. (And really, with life in general.)
As stepparents, we talk a LOT about loving our stepkids, about loving our partners and our blended families. But what we don’t talk about — and should! — is what we're doing to make sure we're loving ourselves.⠀
Before we can help others, first we need to put on our own oxygen mask. Before we can support others, first we need to make sure our own needs are met. We need to stop giving ourselves empty.
If the stepparenting role has left you burned out or pretty darn close, please know that stepping back a bit doesn't mean you don't love your stepkids (although it's okay if you don't). There is plenty of middle ground between stepparenting in a sustainable, more hands-off way and being a jerk to your stepkids or ignoring them or something.
Stepparenting should not feel like an either/or — it’s about finding out how to make this role work for you. Because you can’t be a good stepparent while simultaneously drowning in frustration and resentment.
So somewhere in that never-ending list of things you’re doing constantly for other people, please please please make sure you’re also doing some good deeds for yourself. Let's spend some time remembering how to love ourselves, and trusting that the rest will fall into place. xo
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