If you're continually bending over backwards trying to make reasonable accommodations while the other co-parent keeps making unilateral decisions and refusing to meet you even close to halfway, I've got news for you: that's not co-parenting. That's you getting manipulated.
All the advice about peaceful co-parenting assumes that both people involved are reasonable adults who truly have their child's best interests at heart. And honestly, most of us believe that about even our most difficult exes too. So when the typical co-parenting advice doesn't work for us, we think WE’RE the ones who must be failing. Like maybe we just need to try harder & compromise more.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
NOPE. If you're dealing with someone who is high-conflict, all the rules change. They don’t care about keeping the kids out of the middle. Their goal for “co-parenting” is to get you to go along with their program, not work together.
I'm not saying that means you should be difficult right back, but do understand that however much you give, it’s never gonna be enough for someone who is high conflict... unless you're willing to give up absolutely everything and then some. So please stop compromising and stand your ground instead. This blog shares some tips to get you started: ➡️ 5 co-parenting tips that won’t work with a high-conflict ex (...and what to do instead) 👀
xo
High Conflict Co-Parenting: Better Boundaries, Not More Compromise
Typical co-parenting advice assumes both exes are capable of rising above in the best interest of their shared kiddos.Unfortunately that's not the reality for those of us dealing with toxic exes.
Stepfamilies in high conflict situations need different strategies and resources, especially around co-parenting. In this workshop, Dan & I share what helped us reclaim our family from his ex's constant drama. xo
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