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Gideon Rose's avatar

Said by a dad who has made these mistakes.

Question: what are the differences in appropriate behavior (all ways) when the kids are 20-somethings?

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Blended Family Frappé's avatar

Mmm I think some dynamics do change, although many of the same principles apply even if they change somewhat. Like for example, it'd be even LESS okay for a 20something to treat a new stepparent with disrespect because they definitely should know better, unlike a younger kid.

It's typically easier to carve out couple time when the kids are older as well, and hopefully the ex factor is less of a factor once the kids reach adulthood.

However, depending on the kids' age when the stepparent enters the picture (like if this is a relatively new relationship, not someone who's been around since the kids were younger), older/adult kids may feel even less motivated to get to know their stepparent. It's even more mysterious what that person's role is as far as the kids are concerned. There's also far fewer opportunities to get to know a stepparent for adult kids who don't live at home.

I definitely need to write a whole post about this, thanks for the great question! xo

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Gideon Rose's avatar

This is scarily familiar

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Blended Family Frappé's avatar

Yes unfortunately written based on our firsthand experiences. 😬

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