💔 When you're disheartened
Finding hope when you feel hopeless.
I had a different newsletter planned this week but then I spilled tea on my laptop and lost my draft (among many other things) and had to borrow Dan’s computer to write anything at all.
What an irritating end to a very long and very discouraging week that’s left me feeling disheartened about… well, nearly everything.
Feeling hopeless is my least favorite emotion; not only do I feel like crap, I don’t care that I feel like crap. Like oh well, I guess this is just how I’ll be forever now… and I’m not sure that even bothers me. 🤷🏻♀️
But then — I started thinking about other times in my life I’ve felt like this. Life looking grim and gloomy and me feeling powerless to change that.
Like when my stepkid moved hundreds of miles away and we found ourselves on long distance custody. I thought that would break us as a family. Instead, it saved us.
Or before that, when Dan’s ex fully turned my stepkid against us. I thought we’d never have a normal relationship with her again. Yet somehow we managed to find our way.
Or way back in the pre-Dan years — I don’t know that I’ve ever felt so devastated as when my daughter’s dad walked out on us. I had no idea how I was gonna raise a kid on my own. Weirdly though, single parenting ended up being easier than trying to parent with him.
Boy I sure wouldn’t have predicted that.
Any of that.
Low points feel like they’re gonna last forever. Every damn time. Especially the really dark and scary low points.
But even the lowest low point is not a permanent state; this is not the end of the story. There will come a shift — a parting of storm clouds — a return of the light.
I can’t tell you when it’s gonna come, but I know that it will.
I know it.
Sending you all lots of love this week.
🧡🧡
— Maarit.