🤦🏻‍♀️ When our partners have no clue

You shouldn't have to figure out stepparenting alone... but how are you supposed to tell your *partner* that??

As many times as I told Dan I was struggling as a stepmom, he did nothing. He bit his lip, adopted a hurt-puppy-dog look, and proceeded to take no action of any kind.

Every. Damn. Time.

I found a book called Stepmotherhood that had a chapter specifically titled something like ‘for your husband to read.’ I handed him the book. 

"PLEASE read this," I begged. "It explains EXACTLY what I'm going through and how you can help!" He obligingly took the book… then set it down on his bedside bookshelf to never open it again.

I brought it up a few times, thinking he forgot, then realized he was purposely not reading it. I got angry and yelled. I got sad and cried. The final time I asked was with zero hope, flat and exhausted: "Please. PLEASE would you PLEASE READ THIS."

He never even said no. He just… acted like the book didn't exist. Like our (my) problems didn't exist. Months later on a cleaning binge, I picked the thing up, dusted it off, removed the bookmark and put it away for good.

That was the day I realized that, while we shared a life and a home and a bank account and a bed, in this aspect of our relationship — the stepparenting aspect, the building-a-family aspect, the place where I needed the most help — I was completely on my own.