⚽️ When extracurriculars and high conflict collide

AKA, protecting your parenting time while getting guilt-tripped for it.

I read this post from a stressed-out stepmom who was desperate for advice on how to handle extracurriculars. Her stepson’s high-conflict bio mom kept signing him up for activities on their time, even threatening to take Dad to court if he didn’t agree to give up his weekends so Kiddo could join the soccer team.

This wasn’t posted in a stepparenting community, so most of the responses were guilt-trippy lectures about how Dad & Stepmom should really be thinking about what the kid wanted — not what they selfishly wanted. The kid shouldn't have to miss out just because they didn't want to inconvenience themselves on their weekends: “It’s not your time; it's his time and his life!! If he wants to play soccer, he should get to play it!!” [cue pitchforks]

I guess none of those folks have a high-conflict ex. Because all of that — the guilt trips and the not knowing what the hell to do — sounded plenty familiar to me.

The constant battle to protect your ever-eroding parenting time. The threats that follow if you dare show any backbone. The arbitrary decision-making by one parent, including about what constitutes the child’s "best interests"... which somehow always manages to align with the high-conflict parent’s agenda. 🤔 Go figure.

When you're dealing with high conflict between houses, your relationship with the kids can feel so endangered that normal things like weekend sports get twisted into yet another weapon for the toxic ex to wield against you.

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