✋🏼 Normal stepkid rejection vs alienation

How can we tell the difference between typical stepkid angst and full-on parental alienation?

My stepkid didn’t start out hating me.

At first, we got along pretty well. I had books on fairies, after all. I collected fun and curious things like heart-shaped rocks. And I liked to sing in the car. Bonus: I had a daughter the same age as her.

Our brief honeymoon phase hit a speed bump once SD realized that me being around meant she was missing out on one-on-one time with her dad. That’s when she got sulky. And stayed sulky for the next um…. let’s see, two or three solid years? 😂🤦🏻‍♀️ (joking not joking)

Although I was bothered when she was rude to me (and really bothered by her spoiled attitude, but that’s a newsletter for another day), I didn’t actually mind that she had such obvious mixed feelings. I’m a practical person — I never expected SD to fall in love with me at first sight. I figured, she just needs time. She’ll come around.

And over time, I did start noticing more moments of genuine connection. A slow thaw. Whew, we’re finally getting there, I thought.

But then something changed. Suddenly the level of rejection SD directed my way had turned nuclear-level, seemingly out of nowhere.