🌼 Gratitude in April: Day 20
Thankful for those dang stepkids too I guess
My relationship with my SD has been, hands down, the most challenging relationship of my life. At the same time, becoming a stepmom has also been the greatest learning experience of my life.
Trying to connect with my SD turned me so inside out that I became someone new. Someone more patient, more thoughtful, and more willing to grant space when space is needed.
SD's constant rejection of me forced me to value myself more, stand confidently in my own contributions to her life regardless of how those contributions were received... by her, or by anyone.
Attempting to win my SD over became such a pointless exercise that I turned all that time and attention back around on myself — my own mental health, my own well-being. And doing so made me a better wife, a better mama and stepmama, and a better all-around Maarit.
I learned new definitions of love and family from having my stepkid in my life — that sometimes love means dragging yourself up out of bed and trying again the next day, even when there's zero evidence that anything you do will make any difference that day either. But you do it anyway.
There's love in those actions; there's family in that level of commitment.
So today I'm thankful for my SD. I'm thankful we consider each other family, despite our many, many respective mistakes. I'm thankful we've had some super honest conversations in the last few years that have brought more authenticity to our relationship than I ever thought we'd have. And I'm so, so, so thankful she's finding healing from her truly jacked-up childhood.
TODAY'S PROMPT:
Think of 3 positive qualities your stepkid(s) have and add them to your gratitude list for today.