😖 Emotional labor & the last straw

Sometimes enough is enough. And maybe that's a good thing.

Emotional labor in stepparenting often looks like seeing — sometimes with painful clarity — exactly what needs to be done so our dang families will blend already… and then trying to do every one of those things ourselves even if it kills us.

An unequal division of emotional labor is (unfortunately) common to many relationships, leading to arguments like "Whaaaat?! You're burned out and resentful?? You should've just asked for help!"

Only for stepparents, there's the fun added layer of getting scapegoated for our hard work.

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We're told we're the only ones who see a problem — or maybe we're told we are the problem. We shouldn’t be so hard on our stepkids. We shouldn’t get so paranoid about the ex. We shouldn't take things so personally. Why can't we just calm down already, sheesh!

Being told there's no problem when there actually is a problem is the definition of gaslighting. You start doubting your own sanity: Is there even an issue here? Am I overreacting?