🏀 Be rubber, and let them be glue

Don't let the high conflict ex get inside your head.

A high conflict person wants you to be glue. They want everything they say to stick inside your head — whether they’re spewing fake promises, making actual threats, or just blowing out a bunch of hot air.

It’s frustrating how well (and how often) their intimidation works.

We’re all imperfect humans so of course there are are times when we mess up and do something that negatively impacts someone else. That person gets mad, we do our best to make amends, everyone moves on.

But a high conflict person’s anger has nothing to do with you; your actions are just a convenient excuse for them to fly off the handle. They’re projecting their shit onto you, inventing some story that aligns with their version of reality… usually one where they’re the innocent victim/martyr.

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And so instead of making amends and moving on, we somehow find ourselves sucked into chaotic drama. It’s like the ex handed us a script and pushed us on stage in front of a live audience, where apparently we’re expected to perform the role of The Bad Guy.